Questioning Gospel Doctrine

Is it wrong to doubt or question gospel doctrines, or is it a normal part of developing a testimony?

I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints my entire life.  I have attended many different wards, but none of them have been quite like the one I’m in now.  The church is the same everywhere in the world, but the people are not.  People are going to question gospel doctrine. I strongly believe questions can strengthen testimony as long as learning truth is the end goal. Questions become problematic when their intent is to petition the Lord for personal endeavors.

   I have lived in the Bay Area for almost two years now. Being from San Diego, CA I didn’t think the culture would be much different. I remember about a year ago attending a Stake Relief Society temple presentation. I signed up to attend a class titled, “Becoming more like Eve.” This class was meant to teach us about Eve and why she made her decisions in the Garden of Eden. I was very excited. The teacher was about five minutes into her lesson when a woman in the audience raised her hand and asked, “Why does it say in the scriptures Adam ‘commanded’ Eve, I hate that.” I was shocked by her comment, but more shocked when almost every woman in the room agreed with her. This comment led to multiple women complaining about specific temple ordinances. It also led to the common bay area question, “Why don’t women hold the priesthood?” At this point I was annoyed. I was rolling my eyes, huffing and puffing. On the drive home I couldn’t help but think “What was wrong with their questions? That is why they went to the class, right? To understand women’s role in the temple better?”  I never had an issue when gospel principles were questioned growing up, so what was I feeling now?  I came to the conclusion that the questions were not what bothered me, it was the way they were asked.  I did not feel the spirit of truth in that meeting.  None of those questions were seeking truth.  It seemed that those women were seeking to petition the Lord to correct their feeling of inequality between men and women.   

Last weekend was ward conference. The Stake Presidency spoke to the Relief Society about the Temple. They wanted to know if we felt comfortable going to the temple and they sincerely wanted to clarify doubts. One member of the Stake Presidency asked, “If you have been endowed for 20 plus years, is it still difficult to attend the temple?”  I, without thinking, raised my hand and said, “If you have been endowed 20 plus years and still feel uncomfortable attending the temple, you have not earnestly asked the Lord for help.” As soon as I said the words, I wanted to retract my comment. I feel like I earned the Gold Medal for offending the most women at one time.  I am sure there were more than a few women in that room with questions about the temple and I made it impossible for them to comfortably ask those questions.  Our meeting with the Stake Presidency, unlike the previously mentioned experience, had the spirit of truth.  It was a good environment to learn and grow because no one was seeking to change the Lord’s gospel.  The meeting was simply a place to clarify long standing doubts or fears of the temple.  Despite my embarrassing statement, there were many questions answered. After talking and discussing this throughout the day with my husband I came to the conclusion that I need to stop being so prideful and start opening my heart more.

People are going to question gospel doctrine. They will have questions and have a hard time agreeing with the doctrine. I strongly believe this strengthens testimony. It is not bad to seek for help to understand something. However, if it gets to the point of “fighting” against the Lord and trying to change His way, then I do see a problem. The following weekend I was able to apologize for the comment I made. It felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. I’m grateful for the leaders in our church that help us through these tough testimony times. I’m grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ and how understanding His sacrifice can relieve you from any pain.